10 People Pleasing Signs Work Edition
- fullifecoaching
- Oct 10, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 18
If you’ve noticed yourself resenting your job, feeling exhausted and overall burned the heck out — chances are, you’re a people-pleaser.
Here’s the tricky thing about people-pleasing: It will only harm you. The people you’re pleasing, especially at work, will love the extra effort and energy you’re putting in, the long hours you’re working and the projects you agree to take on.
But if you want longevity in your career, you’ll need to both recognize people-pleasing symptoms and start setting boundaries.
Disclaimer: these 10 signs I'm about to share come from a place of "been there!" because…this used to be me. So as you read this, if it feels like tough love, it is. But it’s because I care about you and your mental health.
Here are the 10 signs you might be a people pleaser at work:
1. You never say “no.”
It’s just not in your vocabulary, and you’re always ready to take on whatever’s asked of you, no matter how much is already on your plate.
Boundary: Say it with me: “Let me check my workload and get back to you.” Give yourself space to assess before committing!
2. You try to have a relationship with everyone you work with.
You’re not satisfied with just getting along with your colleagues—you want to be friends with them all.
Boundary: Focus on collaboration rather than friendship—connection is valuable, but emotional over-investment isn’t required. You don’t have to be everyone’s best friend.
3. You follow the status quo.
Even when you have a different opinion, you stick to what’s comfortable because you don’t want to rock the boat.
Boundary: Speak up respectfully when you have a differing opinion. Diversity of thought leads to better, stronger businesses — so you’re doing your team a disservice when you don’t bring up a differing viewpoint!
4. You work late.
Whether you’re overloaded or trying to go above and beyond, staying late is more of a habit than a necessity.
Boundary: Set a consistent end-of-day time and stick to it—treat your personal time as non-negotiable. Unless you’re getting paid hourly to work overtime, it’s not worth it.
5. You check your emails outside of work hours.
Responding at all hours is your way of showing how dedicated you are.
Boundary: Turn off notifications after work and add your work hours to your email signature and Slack bio.
6. You get nervous taking PTO (or don't take PTO at all).
Just the thought of asking for time off makes you uneasy because you don’t want to let anyone down.
Boundary: PTO is part of your compensation! Schedule it in advance and trust the team will manage without you.
7. You work while you’re on vacation.
Instead of unplugging, you’re sneaking peeks at your laptop or phone, staying involved with work.
Boundary: Communicate clearly that you’ll be offline, delegate tasks, and delete work apps from your phone temporarily. Don’t forget your vacation auto-response email!
8. Negative feedback sends you spiraling.
Any hint of criticism hits you hard, making you question your value or your work.
Boundary: Reframe feedback as your coworkers trying to make the business better, not as attacking you. The more you separate your identity from your work, the more feedback you’ll be able to handle.
9. You’re in tune with your boss’s emotional state.
You’re so attuned to your boss’s moods that you adjust your behavior and emotions to match theirs.
Boundary: Acknowledge their emotions without absorbing them, and send the message that you’re not interested in an emotional relationship by not asking follow-up questions. If it crosses from professional into personal, set up a meeting with an HR rep to discuss your boss’s tendencies.
10. You keep your boss’s secrets.
When your boss confides in you and asks you to keep quiet, you do, no questions asked.
Boundary: If a secret feels unethical or puts you in a tough position, state that you’re uncomfortable and may need to escalate if necessary.
If any (or all) of these hit home, it might be time to ask yourself if you’re truly setting healthy boundaries in the workplace — and to start implementing them. If you’re not sure where to start, consider working with a career coach who can help you find areas of people pleasing, get to the root, plan hard conversations, and reclaim your life.
Ali Goodin
Ali is a certified career coach, former Disney cast member, and creative professional turned career transition expert based in Central Florida. Founder of Ful Life Coaching, Ali helps job seekers, career changers, and growth-minded professionals confidently navigate career transitions. Whether you're pursuing a new role, switching industries, or seeking greater purpose in your work, Ali provides personalized coaching, job search strategy, and resume support to help you build a fulfilling, balanced career at any stage of life.
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