What a Career Coach Wishes You Knew About Parenting 20-Somethings
- fullifecoaching
- Nov 1, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 18
Dear parents of 20-somethings:
You’re probably reading this because you’ve hit a dead end with your 20-something kid.
You can’t understand why they can’t make a decision. You give them career advice, and they don’t listen. Or perhaps they sit at home doing nothing, just waiting for opportunity to come their way without putting in the effort you know is required to get an interview.
The truth is: A third of my career coaching clients are people in their 20s who are stuck because they're untangling their parents' expectations of them versus what they truly want.
They’re talking to me about what they wish their parents understood. They’re sharing what would actually make them feel supported.
The even bigger truth is: If you have a kid in their teens or 20s, the things you’re saying and doing to “set them up for career success” could be hurting more than they’re helping.
So: How do you set them up for success without tearing them down? Here are 10 things I wish parents of 20-somethings knew:
Degrees aren’t a guarantee. A four-year university or grad school is NOT the only path to success. People will spend $60k on a master's and still not be able to land a job.
It’s ok that your kids’ dreams for themselves differ from your dreams for them. Success is possible in every career path, especially if your child is passionate about their journey!
Supporting your kids will strengthen your relationship. Controlling your kids will weaken it.
Your adult kids aren’t your responsibility. They will make their own choices. And they will make their own mistakes. That’s how it’s supposed to be.
Asking your kids the right questions can help them gain clarity. Instead of asking “why,” ask them specific questions about “what, how, who, when.”
Your kids don’t want you to dictate their lives. They’d rather you be part of their life. Focus more on having joyful, meaningful experiences with your kids than trying to get them to do the “right thing.”
Having rigid expectations for your kids' career path isn’t unconditional love. It’s manipulation.
Covering all of your adult child’s expenses could be enabling them to stay stuck. You don’t have to cut them off completely, but having them pay rent or pay for food can encourage them to find work.
A therapist or career coach (like me!) can help them get unstuck in ways you can’t. Both can help them figure out what their blocks are and what they want.
Your kids want your unconditional love more than anything else. Most kids just want to hear their parents say: “I have no conditions about your future other than you being happy and successful by your definition. Help me understand what that means to you.”
Parents: I hope these observations help you feel seen. You’ve already had one of the most important careers of all: raising the next generation of successful, impactful adults.
Now it’s your turn to turn the page and challenge your children to take the lead, make mistakes, and create a life they love.
Ali Goodin
Ali is a certified career coach, former Disney cast member, and creative professional turned career transition expert based in Central Florida. Founder of Ful Life Coaching, Ali helps job seekers, career changers, and growth-minded professionals confidently navigate career transitions. Whether you're pursuing a new role, switching industries, or seeking greater purpose in your work, Ali provides personalized coaching, job search strategy, and resume support to help you build a fulfilling, balanced career at any stage of life.
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