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How to start loving feedback

We're here to talk about the age-old saying: "feedback is a gift."

Let's be real: how many of us ACTUALLY think feedback is this shiny, unwrapped box of joy just waiting to be unwrapped?

Answer: few/none of us.

We've officially reached that time of year where feedback-giving is in session thanks to companies and their year-end reviews.

Translation: y'alls anxiety is amping UP!!!

I'm here to put your anxiety to rest by coming at you hot and heavy with a lesson on how to start LOVING feedback.

In this post I'll walk you through the 3 how-tos of loving feedback, including:


How to identify your feedback language:

You’ve heard of love languages, but have you ever heard of *feedback* languages?

Feedback languages describe how and when we best like to receive feedback. So unless you know your language—and communicate it to the people on your team—you may be missing out on a treasure trove of information.

Here are 3 feedback languages you might identify with:

  • The DATA SEEKER: You're a straight shooter who likes their feedback to-the-point, no B.S., and with a whole lot of data that proves your success rate and opportunities for growth.

  • The PEOPLE PERSON: You're all about relationships and prefer a 60+ minute sit-down where you can receive your feedback in a heartfelt, heart-to-heart manner.

  • The GOAL SETTER: You're a checklist person who uses feedback to help you reach your next goal. Proactivity is important to you so scheduling conversations in advance is essential.


How to ask for feedback:

If you have been let go, passed over for promotions, or rejected after an interview, it’s a sign that someone’s not telling you something.

It’s human to make up stories about why you’re not good enough or why people don’t like you when you have a career disappointment. And it’s easy to feel like you have no control over these situations.

Here are 3 ways to ask for feedback based on your feedback language:

* If you're a DATA SEEKER: Try framing up your ask with assertiveness and request data-based results.

"Given the results of our recent project, how would you measure my success rate as a percentage? What did I do to achieve this percentage? What held me back from being 100% successful?

If you're a PEOPLE PERSON: Try framing up your ask with a more emotive, people-centric approach.

"It would mean a lot to me if we could schedule a 45-minute sit-down conversation to discuss my ongoing development. Your feedback goes a long way for my continued success on this team, so if we could talk through your feedback in writing during our conversation, that would be helpful."

If you're a GOAL SETTER: Try framing up your ask with a proactive, action-oriented structure.

"With my goal of [getting a promotion in one year] in mind, I'd like to get your feedback so that I may continue to work towards this outcome. What examples can you share with me now?"


How to take feedback like a champ:

If the phrase "can I give you some feedback?" makes your heart race, here are 3 mindset shifts to make now (no matter your feedback language) so that you can take feedback like a champ.

1. Own the fact that you’re an imperfect person whose worth is not based on your work performance.

2. Have an honest conversation with your boss/teammates/peers about how you best receive feedback based on your feedback language.

3. Remember that feedback is often not about you—it’s about the role you play to create business results.

I hope this low-down helped open your heart to the gift that IS feedback so that you can end your year with SUCCESS!


Start 2023 strong by hiring me to be your career coach and help you master the art of loving feedback (oh, and did I mention, getting started is free?!)

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