Handling Job Rejection with Grace
- fullifecoaching
- Sep 4, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 18
So: You worked your connections, applied for the job and—yay!—got a first interview. You felt good about it.
Then, you got a SECOND interview and maybe even a third, and you found yourself thinking: Wow, I totally have this job in the bag. You started imagining your new commute, the outfits you’d wear, and the projects you’d get to work on. You even let yourself get excited.
But then, after the final-round interview, you get an email:
Thank you for taking the time to speak with us throughout the interview process. We truly enjoyed learning more about your background and experience. After careful consideration, we have decided to move forward with another candidate for this position.
A wave of shock and disappointment washes over you. Defeat, embarrassment, anger…it’s all real. I’ll be the first to say that job rejection really sucks.
But once you close your laptop and move on with your life, how do you cope with rejection from a job? How do you pick yourself back up and get back in the game again?
Two words: Keep reading!
Be frustrated.
You are allowed to be disappointed and even angry. And while you get your frustration out, PLEASE avoid rage applying—that’s not how you’ll get an interview at the next company! Instead, honor that frustration over a kickboxing class, journaling, or a vent session with your bestie.
Know your worth.
Feeling rejected can quickly spiral into self-loathing. But remember this: You don’t actually think you’re stupid or unqualified. Question your spiraling thoughts, and ask yourself, “Why do I think that?” Most likely, the negativity swirling in your head is a self-protective mechanism.
Your brain is trying to keep you from getting hurt again. Thank your brain for trying to keep you safe, and gently remind yourself that this outcome doesn’t change who you are or what you offer. Companies don’t determine your self-worth; you do.
Be proud of yourself.
It’s a BIG deal that you got an interview—and a second or third interview, at that! If the job is still on LinkedIn Jobs, look at how many people applied. Even if you weren’t the final candidate, you still beat out 99% of the competition. You should also be so proud of yourself for interviewing, articulating who you are, and learning from the process.
Reverse the roles.
Having a hard time getting out of the spiral and choosing to be proud of yourself? Let’s reverse the roles. What would you say to a friend in your situation? Would you tell them that they probably would have gotten the job had they answered that one question differently? Would say that since they didn’t get this job, they won’t get any other jobs they’re applying for? Unless you’re a bad friend (and I know you’re not!), the answer is NO! You deserve the same level of optimism and encouragement that your best friend deserves.
Pick up the phone.
Dealing with interview rejection can be tougher than never hearing back from a job you applied for online. They actually met me! And talked to me! What did I do wrong? It can feel more personal.
If you’re racking your brain for WHY you didn’t move to the next round of interviews or what you said that made them choose another candidate, you don’t have to wonder. Email the HR rep or manager you were working with, and request a 15-minute call with them to debrief. (If that sounds too uncomfortable, you can ask for feedback over email.) Here are five good questions to ask:
How could I strengthen my interview performance?
What about other candidates made them a better fit?
Did you have any concerns about my skills or qualifications?
Was there anything in how I presented myself that I should be aware of?
Would you consider me for a future job opening?
Let’s normalize asking for feedback so we can move on and up in our job searches!
Dust yourself off.
After you’ve taken time to process, recover, and get feedback—get back in the saddle! This job opportunity should not have the power to rob you of all other future opportunities. “Rejection is redirection,” and the next job you apply for could be an even better fit than this one was. Choose to see this as a stepping stone, not a setback.
Ask for help.
Applying for jobs is taxing—emotionally and mentally! Career coaches like me are here to help you reframe rejection, apply for the right opportunities, and refine your interviewing skills. You don't have to do this alone.
Ali Goodin
Ali is a certified career coach, former Disney cast member, and creative professional turned career transition expert based in Central Florida. Founder of Ful Life Coaching, Ali helps job seekers, career changers, and growth-minded professionals confidently navigate career transitions. Whether you're pursuing a new role, switching industries, or seeking greater purpose in your work, Ali provides personalized coaching, job search strategy, and resume support to help you build a fulfilling, balanced career at any stage of life.
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